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Yesterday I was offered some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I said no. It wasn't even hard. Today I woke up still feeling fuzzy-brained from caffeine withdrawal, and my partner dumped bad news on me when I had barely awakened. I didn't even have some morning coffee in me to blitz past the bad news to the solution. I got stuck on, 'Why are you telling me this NOW?' It seemed a terrible evil, and I was having difficulty keeping it in proper porportion.

I tried. And my emotions ziggited from side-to-side, but didn't subside.

So I told him he'd driven me to a life of crime and I was going to have coffee to deal with this terrible thing he'd done to me. He said, 'Sure, lift the lid on the trash and look at all your beans.' I said, 'I know where Starbucks is.' And I proved it.

A couple of sips into my hot cup of coffee with extra cream, and I'm thinking, 'I don't even want this.' Blech. So...no.

My car is going away today with my daughter to her work. We went to the store earlier for some water. She won't be back till after dinner. So unless I order pizza, I'm stuck with a fridge full of organic produce to juice or make a salad with and some citrus and coconuts to drink. Oh, and some Larabars.

And that's fine.

Colon cleansing is amost miraculous in its effect on my health and my ability to stay raw. It's like it cleans all my cravings out of me. And makes my tummy flatter. It also makes me feel lighter and as though I am attaining a different plane of existance, where things feel more energetic. I've decided to do it daily, if I can. When my partner is home, my good intentions seem to get washed away. That's another thing to watch disappear in my life.

So I'll let the colon cleansing continue to wash the desire for coffee out of my life. Along with all the other bad things I don't want to eat anymore. And I'll be so good at saying, 'No!'

Caitlyn