No Beans

Yesterday I had mostly freshly made juice. Today, when I awoke, my head hurt and my stomach wasn't being very happy either. It was detox from lack of the deep, rich bean juice: coffee. Caffeine withdrawal. Hurried on by all the clean juice yesterday.

I find when I eat more purely, my body quickly begins to reject coffee. I had been cutting down my consumption, but not fast enough, it seems. I felt horrible today. I didn't want to do anything, and I was slightly cranky. My desk calendar told me I was supposed to do nothing today, so I took it as a sign from the Universe and complied.

My head and stomach got unhappier, and I didn't want any sudden sounds or jarring movements. I decided to eat some rice and grilled onion and tomato and a very small amount of grilled chicken. I felt much better in a short while. Actually, I felt MUCH better. It felt like my being was purring with pleasure as the detox symptoms almost vanished.

I chose to throw away the rest of my coffee. I get fearful I won't be able to handle the uncomfortableness of what lies ahead in cleaning my body out completely, but I decided to take a brave step. I went out to the garbage can in the yard, coffee bag in hand, and opened the lid and let the beans fall out of the bag and skittle every which way. Then I let go of the bag and watched it drop to the bottom with the trash. I wouldn't be getting desperate and trying to retrieve beans from the dirty garbage can, where I might have gotten the bag back out.

They say the only way out is through.

Time to face my food demons.

Caitlyn