Wonderfully Well

I have been doing fabulously. I had ONE slip-up. Hey, life goes on. I am beginning to feel more energetic. I got my raw food box from RAWvolution, and that was perfect; I grabbed whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I have been perusing some raw sites I haven't seen before and LEARNED LOTS and GOT INSPIRED. Again.

I do very well eating fruit. It makes me feel good and gives me lots of energy. I have read the fruit-is-of-the-devil opinions. My experience is that fruit is good. I am going to take that experience and test the Fruit-Good idea further here in about a week. I found me an eating plan that inspired me. A new one. With fruit.

I've been playing with this raw journey for about 2 1/2 years, so I am past the initial transition where your body asks, "What are you doing to me? What is this strange stuff you expect me to eat?!" I'm at the point where non-raw food makes me generally unhappy. My biggest task is overcoming the cravings, and I think I have found a new weapon for my arsenal!

Which I'll talk about later, when I am closer to implementing it.

Right now, I'm off to the kitchen for a coconut water, banana, and mixed berries smoothie.

Yum!

Caitlyn

Rebellion

So, I've been eating 100% raw. No cravings. Doing great. Getting at least a quart of green vegetable juice down me each day. But today, while I'm not craving anything bad, I am 'craving' a shot of convenience. I want some fast food. RAW fast food. Just something prepared that I don't have to cook. I don't even have smoothie makings right now. I will tomorrow when my blueberries show up, but until then, I have convinced myself I can't make a smoothie. I've been eating apples. I don't want to do my yoga. I want an easy day. After all, it's Sunday, the day of rest? I want to rest. I don't want to make my juice either.

I do have some avocados. And a Larabar. Bananas. Actually, I have a whole refrigerator full of produce. And young coconuts. It's not like there's not something here to eat. And eat simply, even. I'm just being a baby. Rebellious.

I have freeze-dried durian. Seriously, I'm not going to starve. I have chia seeds and apples. I like to juice the apples and soak the chia in it and then slice in a banana. Oh yeah...I have all those things. I just lack the desire to feed myself.

I wonder what this rebellion stems from? A desire to be nurtured and taken care of? Maybe. I feel fine being raw. Just lazy.

I think I'll munch some avocados. Hang on till tomorrow when I might feel more like feeding myself. After all, I'll have my blueberries and will be out of excuses for not making a calorie and energy-rich smoothie.

Caitlyn

30-Day Trial

I find I am having an amazing amount of really helpful positive synchronicities in going 100% raw. Someone seems to have decided somewhere that it is my time to do this, and the universe is practically pushing me from behind every time I take a step. The latest cosmic push is coming across the 30-day trial idea exactly 30 days before I am scheduled to attend my first raw meetup. How's that for timing?

I have great motivation to be 100% raw for one month before I meet other raw foodies. So, starting tomorrow, December 19th, I am choosing a 30-day 100% raw food eating trial, a la Steve Pavlina. My meetup is January 19, my target date.

It's almost as though the Universe said, 'I dare ya!'

I've given up coffee. I've got lots of inspirational motivation online from various websites, including Steve Pavlina's articles about discipline and his own 30-day trial with raw foods, which had him end up choosing raw for life. My box from RAWvolution was ordered today and should supply a week's worth of ready-made meals, completely hassle-free raw eating. I'm more cleaned out than I was a couple of weeks ago. I guess there's no way to fail! :)

So, Ok, Universe. I reach down and scoop up the gauntlet you've tossed on the ground.

I can do this.

Caitlyn

Timing

It's 12:30 pm, and I'm not hungry. That's because I am used to having a cup of coffee in the morning which suppresses my appetite. Now I didn't have any coffee this morning, but my body is used to not eating till later. Which means I have to retrain my body to when I would like it to eat. I have decided opinions on when I would prefer to eat. Between 7 am and 3 pm. That's working in conjuction with the meridians active then, which are best for eating and digestion.

Juice doesn't count. Since juice doesn't require a lot of work of digestion, I think I can drink all the juice I want after 3 pm. This may be stretching things a bit, but it works for me where I am right now.

And all I feel like having anymore is juice. With the occasional Larabar thrown in. I don't think it's horribly unhealthy. After all, on a Juice Feast, one lives only on juice with no Larabars. A Larabar may not be a good staple food, but it's mostly nuts and dried fruits, so some oils and calorie density. I am going to go with this flow of what my body is asking for at present.

Ok, which totally doesn't count cravings for chile rellenos, of course. Colon cleansing really does help me tremendously with cravings. I haven't given in yet, have I? Nope. I will keep up the colon cleansing, and as I get cleaner, things will be easier. I know this from experience. I've been playing with various stages of raw for over two-and-a-half years now. Time to get it right.

Caitlyn

I Want, I Want!

Why is it so hard? Why don't we hate foods that make us unwell and crave foods that gives us life? I've read that it is because we are sick. Our bodies have spent so much effort keeping us alive after we've dumped horrible things into ourselves, that we're adapted and adjusted to eating vileness. Yes, it is too vileness. I'm that unwell. Aren't you? Oh, I look functionally fine, an average American woman. But that's where our standards are off. We don't even know what health looks like.

I spent an uncomfortable half hour or so, fighting with myself over wanting a chile relleno dinner with rice and beans, corn torillas, and salad with ranch. I ended up having four and a half cups of green vegetable juice. But was I actually fighting myself? I think I was fighting toxins that want to win the battle for my body and my soul. AND my very life.

Before that, I spent even a longer while craving a Big Matt with cheeze from Matt Amsden's RAWvolution restaurant. And some of his marinated greens. He'll send a box of approximately a week's worth of raw food anywhere in the US for a price. The price for me is $150. I've been playing with the idea of getting myself a box for Christmas. It just so happens that next week's box has both the Big Matt and marinated greens included. My bad coffee bean-taunting partner redeemed himself by lovingly and magnanimously telling me I'm worth it, and can have a box if I really want one.

I think I really want one.

Caitlyn

Yesterday I was offered some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I said no. It wasn't even hard. Today I woke up still feeling fuzzy-brained from caffeine withdrawal, and my partner dumped bad news on me when I had barely awakened. I didn't even have some morning coffee in me to blitz past the bad news to the solution. I got stuck on, 'Why are you telling me this NOW?' It seemed a terrible evil, and I was having difficulty keeping it in proper porportion.

I tried. And my emotions ziggited from side-to-side, but didn't subside.

So I told him he'd driven me to a life of crime and I was going to have coffee to deal with this terrible thing he'd done to me. He said, 'Sure, lift the lid on the trash and look at all your beans.' I said, 'I know where Starbucks is.' And I proved it.

A couple of sips into my hot cup of coffee with extra cream, and I'm thinking, 'I don't even want this.' Blech. So...no.

My car is going away today with my daughter to her work. We went to the store earlier for some water. She won't be back till after dinner. So unless I order pizza, I'm stuck with a fridge full of organic produce to juice or make a salad with and some citrus and coconuts to drink. Oh, and some Larabars.

And that's fine.

Colon cleansing is amost miraculous in its effect on my health and my ability to stay raw. It's like it cleans all my cravings out of me. And makes my tummy flatter. It also makes me feel lighter and as though I am attaining a different plane of existance, where things feel more energetic. I've decided to do it daily, if I can. When my partner is home, my good intentions seem to get washed away. That's another thing to watch disappear in my life.

So I'll let the colon cleansing continue to wash the desire for coffee out of my life. Along with all the other bad things I don't want to eat anymore. And I'll be so good at saying, 'No!'

Caitlyn

No Beans

Yesterday I had mostly freshly made juice. Today, when I awoke, my head hurt and my stomach wasn't being very happy either. It was detox from lack of the deep, rich bean juice: coffee. Caffeine withdrawal. Hurried on by all the clean juice yesterday.

I find when I eat more purely, my body quickly begins to reject coffee. I had been cutting down my consumption, but not fast enough, it seems. I felt horrible today. I didn't want to do anything, and I was slightly cranky. My desk calendar told me I was supposed to do nothing today, so I took it as a sign from the Universe and complied.

My head and stomach got unhappier, and I didn't want any sudden sounds or jarring movements. I decided to eat some rice and grilled onion and tomato and a very small amount of grilled chicken. I felt much better in a short while. Actually, I felt MUCH better. It felt like my being was purring with pleasure as the detox symptoms almost vanished.

I chose to throw away the rest of my coffee. I get fearful I won't be able to handle the uncomfortableness of what lies ahead in cleaning my body out completely, but I decided to take a brave step. I went out to the garbage can in the yard, coffee bag in hand, and opened the lid and let the beans fall out of the bag and skittle every which way. Then I let go of the bag and watched it drop to the bottom with the trash. I wouldn't be getting desperate and trying to retrieve beans from the dirty garbage can, where I might have gotten the bag back out.

They say the only way out is through.

Time to face my food demons.

Caitlyn